Waiting For Her

I should be embarrassed to share this with you. In fact, I am, a little bit. Oh well, it’s not as though you know my real name or can laugh directly to my face.

The tricky dichotomy is that I love my thoughts on the fictitious relationship between a woman and her small man, but at the same time… every once in a while I slap my forehead and roll my eyes at the insanity of it. I wouldn’t blame anyone for doing the same.

But coming around the mental circle again, I wouldn’t change a thing about this quirk of mine. It’s far more fun than spending time watching reality shows on TV, or anything else actually comparable.

I wrote this a year and a half ago.

* * *

There is a chance you have, at one time or another, come in contact with elements of the animal kingdom. If you have, it’s very likely that you have liked a few specimens from various lineages of the tree of life.

If so, then it’s possible you have kept, or are currently hosting one or more of these creatures in your home. I know I am. I have a few cats, and it is because it’s very difficult to imagine life without them that some of the following thoughts came to mind.

I tend to have fantasies that include all possible scenarios, no matter how impossible. I think I have shown to myself that I’m not particularly concerned with what is really possible at all times anyway, so it isn’t that much of a stretch to throw my cats in the midst of what I picture would be a life shared with a tiny, little, shrunken little speck of a man.

It’s simple. They would eat him.

After toying with him some. Claws and teeth would be involved.

That’s the nature of cats, and I can hardly blame them for being spontaneous within the reality of my fantasies.

But then I take the next step in what I call “not wanting to think about unpleasant things,” and picture instead that they would get along famously. My cats would be fond of him as they are of me no matter his runty size and delectable-looking extremities, and enticing body made of edible flesh. They would listen to him in the same way they pay attention to me, with the same occasional and extravagant displays of obedience, the same curious independence blended with a constant willingness to sit on what I’m reading and be petted.

See how nicely they get along?

Waiting For Her
Waiting For Her

I was surfing the net a few days ago, and perusing through one of those places people upload images of family and pets and flowers and all manner of random things, when I stumbled upon the above photo of a cat looking out, staring at or waiting for something, don’t know what, but cats like to look out windows often.

There was something about it and the empty space between the cat and the woman’s shoes that made me think it was the perfect spot for the image of a shrunken man right then and there, sitting, staring, waiting in the same way the cat is.

The rest came to me the way some of these thoughts do, suddenly, often unexpectedly, like a movie that plays on its own in my mind while I watch from my own perspective from above, or from the female perspective, and even the male one sometimes, just to see what I look like.

I imagined that after I leave the house or the room or whatever … I wouldn’t even have to leave the house. I might be outside raking leaves or something of the sort … but inside there would be my cats, that for the benefit of this image have compacted themselves into one, and then there would be my Little Man, and the both of them would be buddies and confidants while I’m gone, and there would be all sorts of conversations as they stand or sit to wait for me, looking out that window. He might sit on that upturned shoe (except my sandal would be much prettier) at some point and would follow the irregularities of the sole with one little finger as he strikes a conversation with my other little pet….

“So … when do you think she’ll be back?”

“Meow.”

“I don’t have a watch either. I just thought you might know.”

“Meow.”

“Fine. sighs Do you think she’ll bring us something?”

grooms

“Oh, stop bragging. She doesn’t always bring you stuff. And if she does, it’s usually kitty litter anyway.”

“Meow?”

“Hey, at least I have a bathroom.”

“Mreww.”

“It’s not in a dollhouse! I prefer calling it a smallish home.”

purrs

“I really need to get a job.”

“Meow.”

“Cleaning her jewelry and applying nail polish is not what I would call a job. I used to be someone important in the world, you know? I used to have all these people to manage and order about, and now … well, just once I would like to put some food on the table.”

“Meeeeeooooowww?!”

What? I said food- Erm, why are you looking at me that way?”

stares and licks chops

“She did feed you before she left, d-d-didn’t she?”

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14 thoughts on “Waiting For Her

  1. LOL, nice dialogue. Scenarios that aren’t always shown – waiting for his owner. Havent seen that illustrated before and you capture it really well!

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  2. Thank you!

    My cats were partly the unwitting muses for it, and imagining the accurate interaction they would have with a shrunken man compelled me to invent something gentle and playful, where no harm would come to that little guy.

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  3. *giggles*…every time I read the dialogue you have written to this. I swear, I cannot stop giggling so much when I read this. Because I can so totally hear the conversation and be in the moment of it as well.

    Having been around cats myself as a kid, well the one I had…Tommy…he would have fit into this well. And as for the collage…mmm, I love the size perspective. Standing there gazing out the window together, missing the woman that loves us and takes care of us, even the slight tilt of his body to the left, at least in my mind…looking for just a reassuring glimpse of her. Her sandals there…I can see him taking a step forward and up onto the heel of it, using it as a step to the window sill, where he’ll press his hands to the glass and peer right…looking for her, hoping she’ll come back inside soon.

    Sooooo lovely! You have such a wonderful and diverse imagination. And unique creativity in bringing your visions to life.

    Your little squid

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  4. It makes me giggle too, and not only because I have cats and I can picture them (or any of their friends) having this very conversation with a little man as they wait for the tall woman in their puny lives. Hahah!

    And because I have cats, I had to create an alternate way of imagining interaction between my pets and my little guy, since it always ended in tragedy in my head… what with my kitties bringing me dead snakes from the basement, and leaving me half a bird in the laundry basket, and I even found a mouse!

    How in heck did they get a hold of a mouse? Who knows… but all the little critters they get a hold of end up dead, and the idea of a dead shrunken man is as fun as a bullet in the head. So… they make friends, and they tell me a cute story. 🙂

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    • Thank you for the comment, msg! I had thought of creating collages with my own shoes, although back then (when I put together this image) I had not purchased a camera in order to do so.

      Now I’ve begun to take pictures of them, so eventually a few of those will show up here with a shrunken man in their vicinity.

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    • I certainly hope it will be great. The good thing about placing an already existing shrunken man layer over a background I create is the ability to control the latter’s shadows, lighting, etc., and I imagine that will make the collaging process easier.

      I don’t have a great deal of time to collage these days, but I shall do my best. Thanks, msg!

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  5. Regardless of the reality or likelihood, there are times when I look at my fluffy girl-kitty, stretched out on the couch (gray/dark gray stripes on top, purest white frictionless fur on bottom) that I wish I could shrink down and dig right into that plush, soft fur and nap all afternoon.

    No thoughts about those tiny front teeth snapping my little neck. Just falling asleep on that little furnace, that little poop-factory, listening to her kitty-snores and losing myself in all that soft warmth. All I can do is gently scratch her chest, between her forelegs, and imagine.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What the… Sometimes I think you’ve shrunk so tiny, you’ve walked right into my head, and are narrating my thoughts. I actually gathered material to collage exactly what you describe. Exactly. A cute gray cat napping, and a tiny man slumbering, his head propped gently on the cat’s soft, purring body. In back and white. I can’t find the cat among the stuff I salvaged from Vanya (my old, defunct Mac), but I got the man. I’d love to have all the time in the world, to collage that.

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      • Are all your computers successively named after Chekhov characters, or Russian literary characters in general? Mine are named after French surrealist artists.

        Well, how can someone gaze into the depths of that plush fur and not just want to dig into it? Especially if they come from a world of size interests. And my cats have learned patience over the years, tolerance for undue attention…

        I much enjoy your collages and wish to gods I could teach myself to make some. More than that, I wish I had the motivation to seize every free moment and do something productive. But your imagery is very clean and smooth, very easy on the eye, and of course I love the motif.

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        • Russian literally character in general. Vanya was named after a character in one of Orson Scott Card’s novels, titled Enchantment. Hey, what’s your laptop’s name?

          No, no! No. Don’t wish to goddesses you could teach yourself to collage. It is the most monumental waste of time every conceived, and not at all productive. Still, I enjoy it. And thank you.

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          • Well, my laptop’s the exception. It’s named Langhorne, after Mark Twain’s middle name, but past computers have been Magritte and Valéry.

            I suspect getting very deeply into collaging can become very taxing on the capitals of time and finance. You have to pay for (or rent, now) very good editing software, unless one knows how to work miracles in GIMP; one might opt to purchase good stock images to work with; then one might attempt to set up one’s own photos, and touching those up goes back to very good photo editing software, or else investing in a better camera (and, if one wanted to get fancy and YouTube tutorials weren’t sufficient, going back to school for a couple courses in photography). That’s what I suspect, but I’m probably making things harder than they need to be.

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            • Magritte. I suspect he had a thing for giantesses. Yes.

              Stock images are insanely expensive, so the only other option is to scour the Internet for raw materials. That takes an insane amount of time, offset only by how much fun it is to surf gay porn sites or blogs, looking for tiny naked men. I think I paid three dollars for a background image once, but that’s as far as I ever went, besides making the Photoshop Elements purchases.

              If you did as you described, you would be making it a bit harder than you have to. I never read a single tutorial, so a body can figure out the basics of plastering giant and tiny together, just using some basic common/aesthetic sense. Still, very few collage artists are masterful at it.

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