Some Kind of Theme Month

There used to be this giantess board owned by a man we called Oz— was the name of it—where I’d visit and upload my collages. It had an image gallery, a very organized method of displaying images that didn’t involve the mess of sharing images via forum posts. I liked the design, and I had fun sharing my collages there.

One of the nice things about uploading images at was that “points” were added to members’ accounts when we did. Some if the image belonged to a (hopefully) credited someone else, and more if one was the author. Another way to get points was to upload images during a “theme month”, during which Oz would provide a special subject, and if the collages uploaded had to do with it, the author would get triple points.

I really liked the point system. The purpose of the board wasn’t to issue points, but getting them was a nice game to play while sharing viewpoints through discussions, stories, and collages, which creating and viewing required points. Anyway, sometimes the theme month would make me shriek and recoil in fear (not really), but more often than not the subject was something I could work with.

These images were created for the “Victoria Beckham” theme month.

This was my second “little husband” image, so the title is Little Husband 2. The idea of collaging a woman alone (as many other collagers do, and quite nicely) was boring to me. This thing I do of pasting together images of people in sizes that are impossible in reality, I do it because it shows me stories about those people.

Those stories always have to do with a woman and a man, not with a woman and a building, or a woman and a landscape, or a woman and a city. In my mind, buildings, landscapes, cities, countries, planets, are all innocent bystanders in events much larger than they could ever hope to be. If architectural or geographic features could feel hope, that is.

In those events, sometimes the protagonists are married. As everyone knows, Victoria Beckham is married to David Beckham, so I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to not only solidify a concept that works very well for me, but to do it with a real couple.

It worked out well, at least in the beginning. Unlike the first one, this second image, Hug, is a composite of several photos. In the original web find, the couple is sitting together in bed, so I extracted David Beckham from behind Victoria (now that sounds dirty), and placed a lamp there instead. Then I grabbed a few male bodies (that sounds dirty too, yay!)—three, to be precise—and frankensteined them all together so as to form one. That way Mrs. Beckham was now holding her little shrunken husband, instead of herself.

Boy, it took me a while to get something that looked nearly satisfying. The final body doesn’t look very much like Mr. Beckham’s, but see if you can get me to complain.

Warning, there’s a male bottom in this here third collage, so if male bottoms make your shriek and recoil in fear, look elsewere. I’m not much for collages with graphic nudity, but my stuff will occasionally moon at ya.

I couldn’t find a picture of David Beckham’s back for this last image, Listening To Him, so I had to scour the webs for something else. Again, I had to frankenstein a total of four pictures to get the final one, and while I’m not entirely happy with that little hand pressing against her arm, that’ll do, pig. That’ll do.

I did intend to create a fourth image with Victoria Beckham lying supine on a field of destruction of planetary proportions, but after boredom set in, I tossed it.

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