Date With a Giantess

Date with a giantess. Kinda hard to make it a blind one.
Date with a giantess. Kinda hard to make it a blind one.

In my eternal quest to collage from a different perspective from the ones I’ve seen year after year, I found an image of Hugh Jackman smiling at the camera, with a great panorama beyond that screamed “insert giantess here”. Not long after that (but millennia in Photoshop years) I fetched the rest of what I needed for the image.

If I had it exactly the way I want it, the man would focus his attention on the woman, but then his head would be turned away from the camera, and show me an actor that goes for that sort of publicity shot. Still, the goofy smile tells the viewer he’s feeling quite happy his date measures a gazillion inches in height. She isn’t complaining about his smallness either.

The first piece of crap short story I wrote was about a blind date between two people that had initially found each other on the Internet. After chatting for a few months, they decided to meet in person, except she never revealed to him she was 203’5″ tall. In tribute to my enjoyment of the ridiculous, she arrived quite nonchalantly at the restaurant where they had agreed to meet, while around them people screamed and traffic jammed as her huge feet bumped nonpartisanly into buses and bodies, and her legs shaved off power lines and street lights.

Accidentally, of course. She was on the clumsy side.

While flummoxed and (secretly) apprehensive at first, the male character found nothing wanting about the colossal lady, and aside from the horrifying bill he received after she ate everything on the menu, all went without a hitch. He never brought up her tremendous height, as he felt it would have been rude, or akin to calling her “fat”. After their meal they went for a walk / run, ignoring the chaos around them, and finally they did what characters usually do in giantess stories.

But later I deleted that part.

Or maybe I’m just saying I did.

Because, who’d want to read about a giantess and a man getting biblical with each other? Bah! I can count those people with 19,000 fingers.

The Cure – Just Like Heaven

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6 thoughts on “Date With a Giantess

  1. Qué notable… resulta que googleando “giantess date” llego al blog… De una u otra forma siempre termino aquí. ¿Hay algo sobre lo que no hayas escrito aún?.

    Por cierto, he encontrado esta historia hace algún tiempo, y he pensado que podría gustarte. Quizás incluso ya la hayas leído:

    http://animecero.net/foro/index.php?/topic/5-el-cambio-de-masterdark/

    Saludos.

    P.D.: Sé que esto no funciona como un foro… pero sí me ha dado algo de “cosa” responder a una entrada tan antigua… disculpadme.

    Like

  2. Hola Daki,

    Hay una interminable cantidad de topicos que todavia no he tocado. 🙂

    Muchas gracias por el link de la historia! No la habia leido antes, y echandole un corto vistazo pude ver que me va a gustar mucho. La leere cuando tenga un poco mas de privacidad para leer este tipo de cosas. En este momento estoy con terror de ser descubierta, jaja!

    Que no te de cosa, profesor Chapatin. Tengo un gran deleite en contestar comentarios, no importa cuan antigua sea la entrada. 🙂

    Like

  3. What a fascinating and fun story idea! I won’t pester you for this one, but it does sound adorable. I could picture it all through the description and enjoyed the twists and development, even in that mere summary. A pretty and slightly clumsy giantess is one thing, but I especially admire a tiny guy in these stories who can get over himself and learn to love this goddess for the goddess she is. I understand the primal imperative to be frightened of larger, faster-moving threats, but come on. This is a never-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you. It was fun! So much fun to write. I don’t recall all the words I used, but I have a very clear mental image of my sitting at the computer one afternoon, and banging it out with great joy. I haven’t seen it since, and I have no idea where it is. I had thought about it a couple of times, but never long enough to want to reread it. Now I want to see if it’s worth editing, as this is an idea I love, and around which I’ve centered the creating of more than just this collage.

    If I can’t find it, I’ll rewrite it, and post it with my next Date with a Giantess collage.

    And yes! The story was also a commentary on the ability this little guy has to see what no other man can see, therefore to respond in a way that is far more advanced than the terror, hysteria, and impracticality belonging to everyone else. Everyone else but the waiters, I guess. The waiters kept their cool pretty nicely. The chef went insane after that night, and was never seen again… but every once in a while, people in the neighborhood hear the cries of a male voice… a heavily accented male voice that wails about simultaneously basting a dozen cornish hens, and running out of propane for some one hundred creme brûlées, and begging to be rescued from the risotto pond.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sure the chef had nightmares of more or less this sort of scenario, and not because he’s scared of giant women. On the other hand, because he’s had this recurring nightmare, he’s the only one in the kitchen muttering “my God, I know exactly what to do.”

      I forgot to mention how much I adore this collage, chiefly because of the gigantic woman who has to crane down to peer into the frame. I love that part so much. She’s absolutely behaving in context: “yes, I know I’m big, I get that a lot.” I don’t even mind that she’s on a date with someone around 20 years her senior… well, now that I say that aloud it sounds weird, but she does have her own physical advantage. What I meant to say is that I’m hardly envious at all that she’s going out with him and is unaware of my existence, just because the picture’s so cute.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. LOL That sounds about right. I don’t know which one is worse: losing your mind because you don’t know what to do, and you do it anyway; or because you know exactly what to do, and you have to do it. He could have just rolled the dice, and claimed the kitchen was closed.

    Thank you! It’s one of my own favorites, because of those exact composition details. I’m grateful to whoever took that picture of Hugh Jackman. He’s only sixteen years older than her, and in Hugh Jackman years, that means nothing. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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