In my eternal quest to collage from a different perspective from the ones I’ve seen year after year, I found an image of Hugh Jackman smiling at the camera, with a great panorama beyond that screamed “insert giantess here”. Not long after that (but millennia in Photoshop years) I fetched the rest of what I needed for the image.
If I had it exactly the way I want it, the man would focus his attention on the woman, but then his head would be turned away from the camera, and show me an actor that goes for that sort of publicity shot. Still, the goofy smile tells the viewer he’s feeling quite happy his date measures a gazillion inches in height. She isn’t complaining about his smallness either.
The first piece of crap short story I wrote was about a blind date between two people that had initially found each other on the Internet. After chatting for a few months, they decided to meet in person, except she never revealed to him she was 203’5″ tall. In tribute to my enjoyment of the ridiculous, she arrived quite nonchalantly at the restaurant where they had agreed to meet, while around them people screamed and traffic jammed as her huge feet bumped nonpartisanly into buses and bodies, and her legs shaved off power lines and street lights.
Accidentally, of course. She was on the clumsy side.
While flummoxed and (secretly) apprehensive at first, the male character found nothing wanting about the colossal lady, and aside from the horrifying bill he received after she ate everything on the menu, all went without a hitch. He never brought up her tremendous height, as he felt it would have been rude, or akin to calling her “fat”. After their meal they went for a walk / run, ignoring the chaos around them, and finally they did what characters usually do in giantess stories.
But later I deleted that part.
Or maybe I’m just saying I did.
Because, who’d want to read about a giantess and a man getting biblical with each other? Bah! I can count those people with 19,000 fingers.
The Cure – Just Like Heaven