I know what you are thinking. Well, no, I don’t… but some of us have pictured the long hair of giantesses to serve many purposes. If Gulliver needs to climb up a hole in the ground, a giantess can lower her braid; if a shrunken man needs a living room rug, his normal-sized wife can weave him one using strands of her hair.
You can stuff pillows with it, cinch pants around a waist with it, secure sea vessels to port with it… climb it, sleep in it, roll around in it, and in the very worst of scenarios, be tied to it as a little hair accessory. It’s all good and fun, but at the end of the day that poor giant woman has to go home and undo all the knots those helpful—and mischievous—activities produced. It hurts, and it’s tiring.
So maybe one day she does what I just did.
My hair was getting really long and unwieldy, and I had been thinking about cutting and donating it to one of those charitable wig-making organizations, so this weekend I pulled out the scissors, and there it went. See ya, hair! Do good out there.
I don’t exactly look like this now:
But my hair is doing something a little shorter than this: