It’s barely the beginning of the afternoon, and the temperature is 37° Fahrenheit. The sky is cloudy and I can see my breath when I venture outside to toss out recyclables in their bin. Despite all these weather inclemencies, there’s a voice coming from the park in front of my house, the constant voice of an auctioneer chanting off bid after bid. Don’t ask me why there’s bidding going on in a park, when it’s so cold people should be at home eating warm doughnuts. It’s annoying.
But it doesn’t make me angry.
We all get angry sometimes. When that happens and the feeling is extreme, some of us have temporary thoughts of taking a bat to someone’s head, or kicking their shins, or punching their faces. Many of us can control those impulses, and the feeling passes rapidly. When I get very angry I often think of crushing the source of my bad mood, either with my hands, or under the sole of my foot.
After I’ve grown a couple of hundred feet, that is.
As I said, the feeling passes quickly, and it’s been long since I’ve attributed it to that part of my mind that likes to open up a release vent through imagination, and as crazy as those thoughts sound, I prefer them to that nasty schadenfreude, or any similar human nature frailties. I like thinking of myself as a giantess. That strong inclination naturally permeates other emotions from time to time.
What does the above have to do with the Toto Coelo video, “I Eat Cannibals”?
Nothing. I’m just sayin’. In my world of giantesses, anger equals crush, and funny equals vore. In its true definition, vore is an infinite source of amusement, and I can’t help but think of its funny ramifications every time I look at this video.
I can’t explain why it hits me that way, the thought of a giantess eating people. There’s nothing diverting about it. It’s no joke to see a colossal woman opening up a bus and tossing its screaming contents into her mouth. But even now the very idea makes me laugh out loud.
Make no mistake about it, the Toto Coelo women are singing about eating someone:
What can you do
You’re in a stew
Hot hot cook it up
I’m never gonna stop
All I wanna do
Make a meal of you
We are what we eat
You’re my kind of meat
Ah, if you could see my face, you would know that I’m smiling, even giggling. I don’t expect you to understand. It’s a private joke, the same as the tag line, “those crazy vore people”, since I’m one of them.
Soft vore? Completely hot.