Maybe it’s because I’m out-of-my-mind tired, but I find the above ad freaky. I found it online—the way I find dang near everything—at the Flickrs: Take the dog! Spare me!

I don’t like it but I’m posting it because I could have liked if only he would have a lower body, and would lose the puppy, and not have a cell phone for legs. I don’t care how much it vibrates, some things are irreplaceable.

So I’ll pretend he’s some sort of cell phone genie that comes out when she rubs it, and that when he offers her three wishes she says nothing about world peace or the end to hunger, and instead she commands him to lose the puppy and have legs and all the stuff in the middle.