Tonight

“kyodaiomune5251” by ??

Life gives you little moments, that’s for sure. Tonight I was having dinner, and I spotted a fly zooming around the room. I’m disgusted by the idea of any bug going anywhere near what’s taken for nourishment, so I set off to kill the filthy bug. I could not find it, but afterwards I was sitting in the living room, minding my own business, when I felt something land on my chest.

I glanced down at my shirt front and I couldn’t see anything. I thought it might have been the fly, but it was nowhere to be found. Minutes later I felt something flutter inside my shirt. Now, throughout my life I have never felt strong negative reactions for little critters; in fact, I’ve always thought it was ridiculous to portray women in television or comics as unable to face small animals, or screaming banshees when they see a mouse, etc.

I knew that fly was inside my shirt, and I thought I should do something about it. Well, it couldn’t very well stay there, right?

Maybe if it had been a tiny man, the kind that measures half an inch, then I would have thought differently, but a fly?

I’m usually kind and gentle, and I think I would be a very nice giantess, and a tender owner of a small man if I were to ever face a tremendous rise in height, or gain the ability to shrink others, therefore I decided to release the fly into the wild. But wait, I thought, first let’s see…. And I looked down to see where it was. It was struggling against my left bra cup, near the seam that reaches up to the shoulder strap.

I had trapped it in place by stretching my shirt against it, and imagining it was a bug-sized little man-

Oh, my god.

Another bug flew inside my shirt just now!

As I was writing the above, a tiny ladybug-looking thing landed on my chest. πŸ˜† There must be something in the air tonight. I don’t know why they are choosing that particular location, but this surely is unprecedented.

Anyway, so I was imagining the fly was a shrunken man, wriggling his little legs and arms, perhaps shrieking and straining his voice so I might hear his insignificant pleas… so I stared down my shirt for just a few seconds, and if I was a betting woman I’d wager there was a foolish smile plastered on my face.

I walked out the door and let it fly away. I brought in the mail and made sure it wasn’t around anymore before I opened my front door again. I went inside the house, and a few minutes later I felt a tiny flutter against my chest. I looked down and there was the fly again! It had flown off and while I was still outside it had decided to come back to me. It was love, you see.

So I killed it. I crushed it with toilet paper, and I flushed it down the toilet.

Moral of the story: Don’t love me, or I will kill you.

Well, if you are a fly.

No, that’s not it.

Moral of the story: I would be a gentle giantess, unless you try my patience. I would indeed be a kind pet owner, unless you return the gift of my lenience with arrogant presumption. Disobey me and I will crush you and flush you down the toilet.

No, that’s not it either. πŸ™„

There’s no moral to this story. I killed it because it was a fly.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Tonight

  1. I suspect that you just ooze an energy that conveys that you’re a safe haven or sanctuary for the tiny and vulnerable. πŸ™‚

    Of course, as that fly learned, sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. I guess you’re the human equivalent of the Venus Flytrap!

    “I would indeed be a kind pet owner, unless you return the gift of my lenience with arrogant presumption. Disobey me and I will crush you and flush you down the toilet.”

    Lovely. πŸ™‚ A little guy’s got to know his boundaries!

    Like

    • πŸ˜† Um, thank you Pedro. I think.

      Truth be told, there’s something fascinating about a situation in which a little guy doesn’t know what to expect, and his very survival depends on knowing how to read the language of his tall lady’s moods.

      An almost imperceptible lip curl, or the pitch of a certain sigh, a glance he recognizes as a warning, all those elements should be part of his training.

      If there isn’t a school where little men go after they’ve been reduced in size, where they learn how to make it alive day after day, where they are taught those boundaries, I’ll be very much surprised. πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. That was a rollicking good read, even though my interests don’t lie in being fly-sized. Your writing just made me chuckle.

    Would you be willing to write a guest post on my blog to accompany one or a series of my pictures? It seems to me creative writing comes more naturally to you than it does me.

    Like

  3. Thank you trinket, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

    Oh, writing a guest post on your blog would be terrific! Yes, I would like that very much. Please send me images, parameters, preferences, etc., whenever you like. I’m looking forward to it!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s