A few days ago I watched Julie & Julia. I’d never watched Julia Child’s cooking show before despite the fact that I enjoy watching people cook; even if I never intend to fix what they are making, what they do is lulling, hypnotizing, and more calming that any overly prescribed pill.
I hadn’t purchased any of her cooking books though I own three shelves of cooking books, two thirds of which I have yet to whip open due to gastronomic fear.
I probably wouldn’t have rented it either, as I prefer guns, explosions, severed heads flying about, and/or zombies when the time comes to watch a DVD, but it was brought to me, so I watched it. There was some cooking, some weeping, quite a bit of talking between characters, but there’s one line that made the movie for me.
The line was uttered by Jane Lynch, who played the part of Julia Child’s sister, Dorothy. Now, Julia Child was 6’2″, and I think her sister was taller. Jane Lynch is 6′ tall, so she fit the part formidably. In the movie she arrives alone and unmarried for a nice visit with her sister and brother in law, who plan to throw a party for her, and to introduce to her to a very nice (and even taller) man. At the party Dorothy meets a very short man, and while she fawns over him she ignores the very tall man Julia and her husband wanted to introduce to her.
As Dorothy towers over this bitty man that will later become her husband, she whispers some words to him, barely audible over the main dialogue, but it’s clear to me as she plays with his tie and smiles, that she says, “…little man…” to him. So dirty! Such a naughty lady! Who knows what kind of honeymoon they had, with Little Man inserted who knows where, pulled and dragged heavens know how, and forced to struggle against mountains of flesh to pleasure who knows who.
Just in case you don’t realize this, I’m no longer imagining Mrs. Sister of Julia Child and Tiny Husband, but other people. Anyway, that part of the movie was good porn. The rest was OK but forgettable… except maybe the food. Mmm, cake!