Behold how I shamelessly add this one to my pile of incomplete posts. I’ll try to get back here tomorrow if I have the time. I probably won’t, but I will say that ever since I was a child I’ve experienced great enjoyment from creating little things out of paper. But enough for now. Tomorrow I will expound upon my latest fascination with Mother Mother, and how this video makes me think of little people. Not that I need help with that.
Today, November 5th of 2016, nearly six years after December 10th of 2010, it feels like a thousand years ago in some broken parts of my heart; but the ones that remained untouched still feel the same way about paper cities. If I ever made a giantess video starring myself, I would spend days, months, years (?) constructing a paper city from scratch. When I was a young girl I spent endless hours cutting up pieces of paper, and glueing and scotch-papering them together to form chairs, tables, beds, dressers, furniture for a small man, about two inches in height.
What did I feel while I did that? Funny, the things you remember as an adult. I’ve forgotten so many things, but I’ve never forgotten that feeling. It’s a powerful cocktail of creativity, pheromones, single-mindedness sharpened to a fine point, and joy. Looking back at that time fires up a slight autonomous sensory meridian response. Creating things for a little one, however non existent, definitely hits me right in the Goddess center. I also remember thinking, I wish I had toy people to whom I could give this furniture.
I never found toy people; not yet, anyway. Soon afterwards I threw away all that furniture, as I saw no point in keeping it, if I had no “people” to play with that could use it. I would have to do the same with that fictitious paper city I imagine I’d build for myself, after filming myself walking around gingerly… or maybe destroying it. I have no idea what mood would find me that day. Maybe both. I fancy myself gentle, but in reality I have a temper. Bad, quick one.
I love Mother Mother. I was looking for music years ago, and I thought to search for songs, any songs titled “Wrecking Ball”. This happened long before the crappy 2013 one came out, so I was spared that search result. Instead, I found Mother Mother, and I’ve obsessed over them since then. If only they toured the States, my success would be complete. When O My Heart came out, and with it, the video for “Body of Years”, I was pulled back to that time of fun with paper. The paper city in the video is the sort of city I’d kill trees to build. I don’t get to walk on those trees, or slip between those buildings, or peek into those tiny apartments, and smile at the tiny imaginary people; but that’s fine. I can imagine I do.
And then, if they don’t say hi back, I’d set their city on fire.