Today I was in the living room with my family, and a wish was expressed regarding a particular radio station, and the playing of it online. I sat at the computer and found it. I saw that I needed to fire it up through a player, and I chose iTunes. Awesome? No, not awesome.
What played was a 24-second ad about donating money, free Internet radio, blah blah blah… and then, the next item in my iTunes started playing automatically. Awesome? No, not awesome.
The next item in my playlist was a voice clip I created years ago. A voice clip in which I’m sexing a shrunken man, doing all manner of giant things to his little self. This clip was playing in front of my family. Awesome? Fuck no.
Was there anything awesome about any of that? Nothing, except the speed in which I stopped the clip, and the pathetically low volume in which it started playing. Another awesome thing was how in spite of how fast my heart was racing, and all the eighteen different kinds of stupid I called myself, and how terrified I was that I almost “blew my cover”, I was still turned on by my own voice and the hot things I barely heard myself starting to say. Awesome? Yes!
In conclusion, if you have any similar things in your computer, and significant people in your life you think know nothing about computers and would never find your stash of auto-eroticking giantess material that you keep in an idiotically obvious place, I suggest you do something about it tonight.
Or start wearing a diaper.
Update: They’re all gone, forever, all 112 voice clips (some really crappy ones, especially the first few). Deleted and unrecoverable. Well, I still copied them to my external drive when I backed up my hard drive last year, but I don’t suppose they can do much harm there.