THE Mike Old Navy Commercials

I think I just creamed my skirts. A beautiful tiny man in a commercial, and not one lady grabs him and has her way with him in the middle of the store, on a pile of new garments!? Doesn’t anyone know how to make commercials anymore?

(Later….) Good heavens. I just watched a bunch of THE Mike commercials, and I think I’m going to pass out from extreme arousal. Now I can only hope THE Mike creates a fake blog so I can stalk him and post naughty things and my phone number and which finger I use while watching which commercial. That will make Old Navy make more of them! Right? RIGHT?!?!

Oh man… I am in pain. Blue lady balls. Ouch.

Now that I’ve recovered my composure, I’ll mention I’m amazed I hadn’t heard of these commercials before. Not watching TV and not scouring Giantess City for quality threads among the painfully ridiculous does come with a price. Thank goodness for YouTube!

THE Mike Presents Crops
A cute one that features one of my favorite things to do to a tiny man upon meeting him: bending over to get a closer look.

THE Mike Presents Shorts
I love that surprised gasp! I can imagine it multiplied manifold for his tiny size. I can imagine the air she sucks in when she inhales sharply is a breeze in reverse, one that startles him from behind as it passes him on its way to her. I can imagine it occurs to him it’s only a prelude to heavier breathing.

THE Mike Presents Cargos
This one is the best. The tall man talking to the little one, the little one yapping back at him, and why oh why can’t the tall one take him home with them and teach him a lesson? They could both teach him many lessons all night, and then in the morning when the lady woman is in the bathroom the tall one can learn the little one a last time.

Dear men:

Please know that just as you have lesbian fantasies, women have gay fantasies. Loads of them. About you and your best friend. Sorry, but he’s hot.

Much love,

Undersquid

THE Mike Presents Uniforms
The least enjoyable of the set, as hot Mike chats it up with children. It makes my lady balls shrink away in frightened distaste. I imagine it feels this way when people pop in a DVD thinking they’re gonna watch porn, and instead they are forced to watch PETA slaughterhouse footage. Yesitsawonderfulanalogy!

THE Mike Presents Swimwear
Sweet, but little Mike should have been nearly naked for this one. Why dost thou faileth me thus, Old Navy? Why?

THE Mike: 30% Off
Cute. It fits right with my fantasies of purchasing a tiny man marketed as the iPet.

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7 thoughts on “THE Mike Old Navy Commercials

  1. It’s the fine art of “delayed gratification”, the willing suspense of desire, until one of the ladies “accidently” gathers him up in some clothing; skipping off to the changing room for a kind of fun that is only marginally related to “trying on new things”.

    A tiny man with suitable cunning will use this to his advantage (and avoid standing on loose clothing), prancing about in public before women who tower over him in both size and lust. He trusts that social decorum (or the presence of security cameras) will restrain any one gal from pouncing upon him like a piece of Godiva chocolate. This leaves him free to tease their libidos in much the same way that one teases a lioness with a slice of tenderloin.

    This is good marketing. The ladies relate these wonderful feelings of arousal with the associated product, assuming they can remember where they were at the time, or what the product was, or why their panties are wet.

    As for the tiny man, he’s on a power trip. There’s something thrillingly perilous about flaunting one’s helplessness in such a bold and brazen way. One trusts that those memories will carry him through the inevitable heart attack that strikes when one of the ladies yells “GOTCHA!”

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    • 😆 So that’s what it is, a fine art. Gosh, someone please send me that fine art’s blooper reel, so I can revel in every accidental gathering and skipping and trying him on (for size).

      I really enjoyed what you wrote here!

      Like

    • Aren’t we a sorry lot. It doesn’t take much to get us going. A little commercial or a collage, and we’re there. But I do think we bear it with admirable fortitude. 🙂

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  2. Isn’t this sad? This campaign had only about 4 episodes and was replaced by the very lame “manniquins.” Too bad I wasn’t directing. This guy would have plenty of adventures in Old Navy tops and bottoms! Old Navy Ad Department — pick up the crap in your stores and call me– I’ll turn things around! .action!

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    • It certainly had potential, even for the size dispassionate. 🙂 They should hire me for ad campaigns too! I’ll send them my resume as soon as I find an envelope large enough to fit it.

      Like

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