The Boost Mobile giantess commercial

…does not exist. I wish it did. Tonight I was out where there was a TV, and when this commercial came on, for a tiniest moment I felt a flutter of hope in my heart that the large figure on the floor of a grocery store would be a giant woman. Instead a sad giant took her rightful place. Oh, well. 🙂

I bemoan these misguided commercials in good cheer. I’ve known since the beginning of my exploration of media as a source of material to enjoy, that it would offer very little in the way of a perfect scenario. And let’s be frank, a flawless commercialization of just about any product would involve devastatingly handsome shrunken men doing things that don’t render them ridiculous.

While watching the commercial I also though that any position in the service industry is what I’ve always fantasized about when I try to picture what my job would be if I was at least a mini giantess. But I think my favorite occupation is still that of a professional Building Washer, or a Tree Puller. I’d do such a good job!

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8 thoughts on “The Boost Mobile giantess commercial

  1. There’s a vast list of potential jobs depending on size.

    – controlled building demolition (as opposed to the other kind)

    – guiding ships to port (who needs a tugboat, long a fav image for me)

    – traffic cop (cars rises “STOP SPEEDING!” car descends and wobbles off)

    – sunshine enforcer (bad cloud, scoot! now!)

    – air traffic landing controller, just need a big baseball mitt

    – green energy mavin “look at all the pinwheels” (sound of blowing)

    – coast line designer “sorry Norway, too many fjords” (sound of erasing)

    – launch coordinator “…she has placed the rocket into the slingshot…”

    – lifeguard “okay, my shift’s over, everybody out of the ocean!”

    – advertising “is there a spellchecker for sky writing?”

    – fashion designer “what do you think of the skyscraper sweater?”

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    • Great list!

      One of my collages is titled “Traffic Controller” and it’s about that very thing, but with the invariable element of mischief provoked by one’s enormous height and the adorable tinge of red that burns on the cheeks of you tiny people when a giantess blocks your way to Walmart or Subway or the bar or work.

      “But I can’t be late! I’ll lose my job!”

      “Sorry Little One, you’ll have to take the causeway today.”

      “Why?!?!?! This way is faster!”

      “No.”

      “Move!” *beep* *beeeeeeeep*

      *giant laughter* “Oh you are so amusing. OK, I’ll allow you to pass but first you must do something for me.”

      Thus Giantess Toll is created. People lose their jobs, no one arrives anywhere on time anymore, but on the bright side Walmart goes out of business, and YouTube is flooded with hot F/m videos.

      And I love thinking about changing the weather, though as far as designing goes, the magnitude is more along the range of constellations, and not so much fashion.

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  2. This commercial has good effects and I understand the casting of a traditional fairy-tale giant (re: ugly) but a Giantess at the checkout counter who scans and shoplifts home a customer would certainly spice things up!

    The cycle of expectation-disappointment-expectation-disappointment is so inherent to the Giantess fan chemistry I can’t imagine a continued stretch of satisfaction although that regrettably short-lived Buddy-Lee Giantess campaign (and companion blog!) took a bit longer to dash us, remember?

    As with rapid transportation and the Internet, Asian and European advertising agencies are way ahead of the U.S. with Giantess – themed commercials, leaving us currently with only this milk commercial :

    as a rather tame offering. Notice it’s also in a grocery store! My replies are properly themed!

    Frankly, this commercial is not bad. This Giantess mom is hot, and maybe once home with kiddie tucked night-night she might recall the angel and devil for a mini ménage a trios!

    These commercials do a lovely job of kick-starting the imagination!

    Enjoying the blog!

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    • Expectation, disappointment indeed! This is not just true of commercials btw. I like well under 5% of what’s out there in any media (In totality of course: certain rare blogs and other sites score considerably higher). Anyway a flawless commercialization of just about any product would still be ultimately about the product. Commercials are meant to hook you with an initial association, and then distract you with the product so that next time you find yourself fantasizing you might subsequently decide on a different mobile plan or a marginally less unhealthy chocolate milk. Only when someone comes up with a safe shrinking potion, or they start advertising recreational prosthetics on TV, will we see some truly hot ads!
      But sometimes it works. Dean’s TruMoo though acknowledged as tame, was a good commercial. What I especially liked was the conspiratorial smile she gave the angelic little man, like she was wondering how challenging it would be to corrupt him and just how sullied she could render that spotless white outfit. So, if they had it where I lived, I’d probably chug a bottle before my next romantic engagement (and probably be disappointed in more ways than one).

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    • 😆

      Thank you pocketsizedman! What a great little commectial. I had not seen it before. I love when at the end the conveyor belt jerks along and the tiny devil falls off the milk. She’s taking them home! I’m going to have to find and try some TrueMoo.

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    • I look forward to the day giant people are not portrayed as grotesquely proportioned, ugly, unwashed, or excessively hairy creatures. The same goes for little people; I don’t know why they have to be blue, savage, or mentally diminished in so many works of fiction.

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