26 thoughts on “Craigslist: not completely useless.”
‘Salary: eternal love’
Sold. What are the further shrinking perspectives in the job? I could give a more precise pedi if I’m seeing the nails closer and to see them closer I need to get smaller, yes YES.
They are limitless. All supplicants’s desired sizes will be graciously noted, and depending on the day, and needs, and whims, and moods, they will be fulfilled.
Excellent. Your application has been accepted, and will be considered very carefully. 😀
Besides, someone who’s 6’8” must have big feet, and those require care too. And I’d be more than willing to give them such even if I was smaller than her toe. Did I say even, I wanted to say ESPECIALLY if I was smaller than her toe.
6’8″ or greater. It wouldn’t let me enter a taller distance. I’ll just assume people know I mean 203’5″ in height. That makes my feet bus-size, and my toenails large, reflective, flat shapes; ten good reasons for a bitty little man to endeavor to be useful.
I didn’t actually post it. Since I get no visitors from my town, I’d only get laughed out of the ad section.
It’s kinda sad that the nearest visitor to my blog lives about an hour away from here. No gentle-giantess lovers where I live. Or none that visit my blog.
I am not in New England. I’ve been there before. It’s a short walk from here. Look out your window just as the sun clears the horizon. Peer to the south. You’ll see my outline as I wade my way out of the Sound. I will catch you a delicious bass.
No, I don’t. I was only waxing whimsical. Alluding to the fact that to a giantess, great walking (or driving) distances mean nothing at all. I’ve only been there once, and fleetingly so.
“Must be able to…hold breath for ten-fifteen minutes.”
I love the implications of this. Sadly I’m only up to a minute and a half.
I wonder if the shrinking process means the tinier you become, the less oxygen you need? I mean sure you have tinier lungs, but far less body mass that needs air. Can we just agree to go ahead with the shrinking process and test from there? 🙂
OH. MY. GOD. That seems to describe me to a T! Of course I have to apply. It’s amazing that eternal life is a benefit, it would truly be for forever. The salary seems very generous as well. I do wonder what large surfaces I would have to clean. 😉
So I get to be small *and* live forever? Wow. These are fun. A local freebie paper reprints missed connections on a weekly basis; they are a great source of humor. ‘I saw you at the gas station and thought you looked at me, or maybe not, but maybe you did! Tell me what you were wearing so I’ll know it’s you!!!” Geez, I wonder if she got in touch. 😉
Eternal life is a fringe benefit from being made small. It’s only fair.
Oh, they are hilarious! A local guy entered one where he stated “I looked at you, and you kinda glanced at me, and I think you smiled. You’re so beautiful! I was there with my mom, shopping for prune juice. Tell me what I was wearing.”
(I’m paraphrasing, but that was the strong gist.)
I’m sure they ALL get in touch, and are currently living happily ever after. 😉
Nothing could happen. Nothing will happen. I did post the missed connections one, and so far, no response. I wonder what ever became of that gloriously butted giantess. The world may never know.
I want to write an imaginary response too:)
“Ok, miss. I can accept your offer but i have some doubts, can you promise you will always watch your steps and where you step. I don’t want to die under your foot. Secondly do you have a kid? If you have one, it may be dangerous for me because i would just a toy for a little kid so she/he can harm or even kill me. What about your guests? They can harm me or accidently step on me. I can avoid only your feet, when you walk but there will be too many feet, when your guests come and it is hard to avoid. I am not sure about my safety
All valid concerns, of course. Thank you, msg; what a nice, heartfelt response. In subsequent communications with that (currently) normal-sized man, I’m quite sure the woman that intends to shrink him would do her best to assuage his worries. She might choose to do so after she shrinks him, but that’s her prerogative. I wish them both the best of luck. Especially him.
‘Salary: eternal love’
Sold. What are the further shrinking perspectives in the job? I could give a more precise pedi if I’m seeing the nails closer and to see them closer I need to get smaller, yes YES.
What I’m saying is I’d like to apply.
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They are limitless. All supplicants’s desired sizes will be graciously noted, and depending on the day, and needs, and whims, and moods, they will be fulfilled.
Excellent. Your application has been accepted, and will be considered very carefully. 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Now that’s my kind of job hunting. 🙂
Besides, someone who’s 6’8” must have big feet, and those require care too. And I’d be more than willing to give them such even if I was smaller than her toe. Did I say even, I wanted to say ESPECIALLY if I was smaller than her toe.
LikeLiked by 1 person
6’8″ or greater. It wouldn’t let me enter a taller distance. I’ll just assume people know I mean 203’5″ in height. That makes my feet bus-size, and my toenails large, reflective, flat shapes; ten good reasons for a bitty little man to endeavor to be useful.
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That’s very funny!
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I couldn’t stop smiling as I created it. Thank you!
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Did you actually get any replies?
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I didn’t actually post it. Since I get no visitors from my town, I’d only get laughed out of the ad section.
It’s kinda sad that the nearest visitor to my blog lives about an hour away from here. No gentle-giantess lovers where I live. Or none that visit my blog.
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LOL I wonder if that’s me…. I am under the impression you are in New England, but what do I know….
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I am not in New England. I’ve been there before. It’s a short walk from here. Look out your window just as the sun clears the horizon. Peer to the south. You’ll see my outline as I wade my way out of the Sound. I will catch you a delicious bass.
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You live on Long Island? I am originally from Long Island! Massapequa, in fact.
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No, I don’t. I was only waxing whimsical. Alluding to the fact that to a giantess, great walking (or driving) distances mean nothing at all. I’ve only been there once, and fleetingly so.
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“Must be able to…hold breath for ten-fifteen minutes.”
I love the implications of this. Sadly I’m only up to a minute and a half.
I wonder if the shrinking process means the tinier you become, the less oxygen you need? I mean sure you have tinier lungs, but far less body mass that needs air. Can we just agree to go ahead with the shrinking process and test from there? 🙂
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Practice, little one. Practice. Remember this guy: http://www.thenational.ae/uae/dont-hold-your-breath–freedivers-world-record-attempt-seemingly-scuppered
There are others. It can be done. Make it a New Year’s resolution. Conquer this.
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OH. MY. GOD. That seems to describe me to a T! Of course I have to apply. It’s amazing that eternal life is a benefit, it would truly be for forever. The salary seems very generous as well. I do wonder what large surfaces I would have to clean. 😉
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It does, doesn’t it? Supplications are still open. As to details regarding large surfaces, those become clear after the position has been filled.
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These are fun to create…
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So I get to be small *and* live forever? Wow. These are fun. A local freebie paper reprints missed connections on a weekly basis; they are a great source of humor. ‘I saw you at the gas station and thought you looked at me, or maybe not, but maybe you did! Tell me what you were wearing so I’ll know it’s you!!!” Geez, I wonder if she got in touch. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Eternal life is a fringe benefit from being made small. It’s only fair.
Oh, they are hilarious! A local guy entered one where he stated “I looked at you, and you kinda glanced at me, and I think you smiled. You’re so beautiful! I was there with my mom, shopping for prune juice. Tell me what I was wearing.”
(I’m paraphrasing, but that was the strong gist.)
I’m sure they ALL get in touch, and are currently living happily ever after. 😉
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Good thing you didn’t actually post that, with the way social media works who knows what could happen
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Nothing could happen. Nothing will happen. I did post the missed connections one, and so far, no response. I wonder what ever became of that gloriously butted giantess. The world may never know.
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Yes. What became of her? I wonder if I’ll see that glorious butt!
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A trompe l’oeil. That’s what you are. Comments like the above prove it beyond the shadow of a doubt.
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Hey, I’m not an optical illusion!
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I want to write an imaginary response too:)
“Ok, miss. I can accept your offer but i have some doubts, can you promise you will always watch your steps and where you step. I don’t want to die under your foot. Secondly do you have a kid? If you have one, it may be dangerous for me because i would just a toy for a little kid so she/he can harm or even kill me. What about your guests? They can harm me or accidently step on me. I can avoid only your feet, when you walk but there will be too many feet, when your guests come and it is hard to avoid. I am not sure about my safety
LikeLiked by 1 person
All valid concerns, of course. Thank you, msg; what a nice, heartfelt response. In subsequent communications with that (currently) normal-sized man, I’m quite sure the woman that intends to shrink him would do her best to assuage his worries. She might choose to do so after she shrinks him, but that’s her prerogative. I wish them both the best of luck. Especially him.
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