Craigslist: a bitty couch, for sale


This is too much fun to stop. It is now a weekly installment.

17 thoughts on “Craigslist: a bitty couch, for sale

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  1. I don’t see why you should stop. It’s good, clean fun; it’s quality storytelling, for anyone who’s paying attention; it’s a hidden treasure or an Easter egg for anyone who stumbles upon it. I only… wish I’d thought of it first.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah, my dear friend, you did think of it first. You were dreaming of it when I sensed those images in the giant mental net I cast every night over this little planet. I sought them out, wriggling like silver minnows, and once I captured and looked them over, I saw the idea spelled out like fish scales dancing in moonlight wind. Then I stole it, and in exchange I left you a dream about a misshapen loaf of bread. I’m sorry.

      Or… am I.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That explains the bread. I’m glad I don’t have to look for any deeper symbolism in the crappy wad of bâtard that predominated the story. And if someone’s going to lift an idea right out of my head and knead it into being, I’m honored you found some workable clay in me.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Do you think it would fit into my shoe bungalow? I have rather limited space in there. I was trying to move into a bigger place lately, even contacted a few basketball players but they don’t answer my mails. Anyway, if it does, I would be interested. Oh and what’s the transport fee? I need someone to help me bring it in, obviously.

    If posts like these are to be weekly, you might think of creating another category on the blog. Looking forward to seeing what you’ll think of next. :)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I doubt it would, Balore. :(

      You should buy it anyway, and put it in storage until you move to a bigger place. Don’t you have a storage shoebox under the stairs, somewhere? Or under her bed, I think.

      The transport fee is two pennies, or a piece of cheese. I know this little guy is very afraid of what’s happening around us, and wants to reimplement a bartering system. I think our worlds can use more:

      1. Tiny lap dances in exchange for a warm bed
      2. Watching her cook in exchange for watching him do yard work. Grass work. Seed work.
      3. Extreme dental flossing and facial dermabrasion = two hot baths in the sink
      4. Hair brushing and detanglement = complete snow removal service from you home, and surrounding properties (it only takes a few warm exhalations)
      5. Pedicure = dollhouse repainting
      6. Bug extermination service throughout the year = room and board


      You are right. I need a new category or tag. And thank you!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Hmmm. I have to ask Undersquid, what’s involved with a tiny lap dance? How does it work? I need details! Vivid details! Also, what’s the bartering system for giant lap dances?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The way I see it, the tiny man stands somewhere on the lap of his giant lady, and dances away, until it’s all over. It’s not really up to him to decide when it’s over. Typically she demonstrates it more than amply. Then, and only then does he get to sleep in a warm bed.

          Giant lap dances = I don’t know. I’ll have to think about that one.

          Liked by 1 person

    1. I bet you know that little guy, then. I bet you played with him when you both were little, and you know his name, and you recall now, that there were some news of his disappearance years ago. People looked for him, to no avail.

      Now you know he’s fine. Just fine. :)

      Liked by 1 person

  3. A tiny man must be cautious when purchasing furniture…

    “Is that a new couch?”
    “Uh. Yeah.”
    “Why does it smell like that?”
    “Are you seeing another giantess?!”
    “What? No! No! I’d never do that!”
    “Is that a blonde hair sticking out of it?!”
    “Crap.” [sound of running]
    “Get back here, I’m not done with you yet!”
    “Not until you calm down!” [running faster]
    “I AM CALM!”

    We won’t go into the incident with the chandelier that turned out to be an earring. ^^

    Liked by 1 person

    1. *laughs* That was adorable! What adds to the charm of your dialogue is the story I see behind all that:

      1. How did he contact the seller? Was he standing on his wife’s laptop, the jumping to every key necessary for a very short email? Or did he use his own iPhone? I love either visual.

      2. How did he pick it up? I used to play with Tonka trucks when I was a child, always imagining there was a real driver in them. Those trucks were beautiful, once upon a time. They did feel like real trucks that had been miniaturized. But a Tonka truck driver would be too big for this little guy’s world. I’ll just think he tied it to the roof of his Hot Wheels, and off-roaded his way back home.

      3. What happens when she catches him? That’s my favorite part.

      I’ll have to word my future Craigslists ads more carefully. I don’t want little guys to get into trouble on my account. The previous statement was a complete lie.


  4. A couch of that quality usually sells for twice that price, I’d buy it but it’s too big for me I’m only 1/4 inch tall and my house is the size of a pair of dice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It does, but that little guy is not greedy. He only needs it to buy materials to make presents for his giant wife. She loves things he makes himself.

      1/4 inch in height! That is tiny. I got a few blocks of polymer clay a few days ago, to try and make dollhouse furniture. And this after I swore I would never do that again. I really shouldn’t believe anything I tell myself.


  5. I think he should keep the couch, and put it in the ‘rumpus room’. After all, she worked hard on it, and he has no need for money (trying to think of a need, coming up blank). Another great Craigslist find.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He thought about it, but she told him it was “so last year”, he had to listen. To keep it would be to tell her that the new couch she’s making him is really no match for what he already has (even if what he already has, she made herself). He’s quite clever, and he knows how to make her happy, and how to tell her every effort she makes to make his life whole is appreciated.

      He has no need for money, but he’s saving up to buy her something very special. Something he’s made with his own hands.

      Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it.


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