Every Time, The Same

I can’t sleep. I should have fallen asleep six hours ago, and I should have slept at least four of those. I have a rather severe case of insomnia, and all I’m doing about it right now, is having a cold slice of pepperoni pizza, and writing this.

David Gahan sings, “I’m waiting for the night to fall; I know that it will save us all; when everything’s dark; keeps us from the stark reality”. How true is that for anyone?  It isn’t true for me at all. When everything is dark, my brain burns hotter, and I think too much.

A thought that occurred to me a while ago had to do with my writing, and stagnation. When this contest was announced,  I thought, pfft! That has nothing to do with me. I’m a gentle giantess, cruel stories are not my bag, etc. But I’m a damned liar, and none of that is true.

The truth is, I want to grow as a writer. I want to force my mind to see beyond what it normally sees, beyond its sunny paths and cooing streams. I want more. I always want more. So I decided to thrust myself into a story cruel by my own definition.

When I think about cruelty, I’m knee-jerk thinking a foot crashing down onto a defenseless little guy. I’m thinking buildings and occupants being savaged by a colossal woman. I’m thinking tender little people being devoured by a giantess with a  peculiar moral compass. But there are more norths than one.

Cruelty doesn’t have to mean any of those things, or any of the things to which we are most accustomed when we read stories classified thusly. I define cruelty as I see fit, and this is my Cruel North:


8 thoughts on “Every Time, The Same

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  1. Now that was a fascinating read, intimate, and passionate, and wham. I’m not sure what I would create if asked to do a story like that. The tales we write are designed to trigger a visceral response in the reader. Oftentimes cruelty is just a vehicle for inspiring “fun” emotions. Setting cruelty as the centerpiece makes for some uncomfortable reading. I’ll have to think about that. Thanks for sharing, and keep trying new things! ^^

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Scott! I’m not sure what you would create if participating in a contest of any nature, but I can only hope it’s something compelled by law to be read at one of your funerals. I have not become truly acquainted with my intentions and designs as a writer… not fully. I catch glimpses here and there. All I know for certain is that writing is what I Do.

      Yeah… cruelty mixed with humor is something I distinctly get when I read some of your stories, and not at all when I peruse different material. Now, as to other “fun” feelings, I know they exist, but my brain does not align with the fictitious events that occasion them. Unless. There’s a big unless: if I can connect with the inflictor of cruelty on any level, I suddenly and empathically attach understanding to the events. It’s an odd phenomenon in my head.

      Thank you for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sits on your thigh and asks for a nibble of pepperoni Awww, sorry you didn’t get to sleep my giantess, but as you know, I know those sleepless nights well. My brain burned hot the past few nights too; stealing my zzz’s. Even with insomnia your productivity is astounding~

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a lovely vision. I like it.

      Yes, it was rather horrendous, but it passes. I’m alright now.

      Thank you! That is the sole benefit of a boiling brain: it puts the lotion in the basket. It does as it’s told.


  3. I can relate to the insomnia; in my case it’s occasional but there was a time when it wasn’t. In any case it was good to read your story, twice. Wow, you really pulled it off. the cruelty was there although she may not have been aware of it. Good descriptions, vivid, startling. I look forward to your entry in the April contest, which I think is gentle. Hmm.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Really. I’m glad those times are mostly over.

      Thank you! I wanted a different brand of cruelty, a tragic kind of it, a helplessness to it, for nearly all parties involved. At this point, it’s the only kind of cruelty I can digest. That, and cruelty funneled into a brand of justice.

      Yes, GentleApril17. Be there, or be shrunk grown.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s going to be the point of all these contests: to push those who wish to move along. That includes me. Sometimes the theme will be among our strengths, and sometimes it’ll be, oh, something we’d really rather not. And people can choose to bow out and wait for the next one, or they can step up, roll up their sleeves, spit in their hands, and meet it head on.

    Also, the point is to increase awareness of talented writers that people may not know are lurking in the shadows and putting out quality work. That was my experience, suddenly realizing all these other great writers around me.

    I love the phrase “Cruel North.” Your genius-switch is never in the off position.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oh, please tell no one there’s a point. They’ll flee in flocks. I thought I was doing all my realizing some of these people were great all on my own. If I ever suspect anyone is doing an extraordinary amount of selfless work to coax me in that direction, there’s no telling what sort of violent reaction I’ll have. self-directed eyeroll

    Even the gentle theme will be a push for me. I’m going to vary my gentle pattern. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll figure it out.

    Thank you. I like it!


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