…by bad dreams. I’m not sure what it means that not only I slept very little, but when I managed to drift away, I had these bizarre, unsettling dreams.
I went to a party where I saw all my old childhood friends, now fully grown. One of them, one of my closest friends in the world, took me aside, brought me to her bedroom, and started berating me about having abandoned them all. She removed a large piece of luggage from her closet, and started removing dirty clothes and old blankets, claiming it was all I’d left behind. Then she pulled me closer, started whispering in my ear frantic words I don’t remember, and finally handed me a screwdriver with the head removed, and in its place a very sharp but rusty tip of a knife had been secured in place. My close friend had gifted me a shiv. What the hell. I stared at it for what must have been ten dream minutes, wondering why she thought I’d need a shiv. I woke up with a start from that one.
The worst one. It won’t sound like it, but it felt like it, which is what counts. I had just gotten home, and had parked the car on the street where I live. I got out, and though it was the middle of the day and it was as unsinister as it could possible get, I suddenly hear voices screaming, and telling me to run. I looked around, and about a half a block away, a little girl stood in the middle of the street. She started running towards me. I thought, in my dream, this is a little girl. An adorable little girl, smiling and running toward me as though she wants to give me a hug. And she was. She was around four years old, with soft brown curly hair framing her cute grinning face, and as she got closer and closer with her arms stretched in my direction, I began to feel the worst terror I’ve felt in a dream, in many years. I bolted from where I stood, and no matter how fast I ran, she gained on me, still laughing. As she reached to grab me, I woke up with a half-formed silent scream.
I don’t usually (or ever, actually) bother with dream analysis, especially when I know there are no answers in those dreams, only the continuation of questions that visit my mind every day, that get answered by two views in my head at the same time. I thought I’d share them here because I don’t ever have dreams where I fear something much smaller than I am. It’s only happened once before. This unsettling feeling would probably not exist if I’d not slept in harmful, short fits. Or if I had a dream shiv.
I need one of those.