Craigslist: Are you tiny? Are you naked?

Naked

Here’s the original post. Or was, before I received an email about it being flagged for removal. I thought the title would give me that kind of trouble, but that’s how I saw it in my head. I rarely do this Craigslist thing with an idea in mind before I ever get to the website, and pick a location. It’s a… jumping into the bubbling stream of consciousness where I live when I’m in that world of tiny men and the women that shrink and love them.

When I was a little girl, I used to make clothes for my barbies. I also had a Ken, but didn’t find it that interesting to make clothes for him. I think it had to do with the very deep disappointment I felt when I received it for Christmas one morning, and the first thing I did was close my bedroom door, lock it, and rip off its pants. When I saw it, or rather the lack of it, I made this face:Girl-Crying

From then on, my dolls only had one-night stands with my Luke Skywalker (I asked for a Darth Vader to pair up with my Leia – but my dad said it was “evil”… I had no idea back then what he was talking about. I just liked the idea of Leia doing the nasty with more metal than a man). Anyway, so I go to Craigslist, and I sit here for a few seconds, and I choose the location, and see it happening in my head. A woman that knows a little guy, sees him often, and his appearance is quite lackluster. She doesn’t care. She only wants to lure him into her lair- home, so she can manhandle him into a bath, and then cover him.

Not with clothes, silly.

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6 thoughts on “Craigslist: Are you tiny? Are you naked?

  1. Very clever. I would love to watch the face of any Craigslist reader who happens upon these ads. A very dim person would assume they’re just some elaborate prank; a sharper individual might suppose they’re the lead-in to an elaborate augmented reality marketing campaign. A truly insightful person would…

    Ha! I kid! There are very few of these and they are inscrutable!

    But I love these invitations, how heartfelt they are, so altruistic and generous, and then the veneer begins to crack and uncontrollable lust hints at itself. These are masterful and splendid.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Veneer? What veneer? There’s no such thing. The people creating these ads are some of the best people on Earth, putting themselves out there for true love, romance, and the purest spirit of giving. 😀

      I think the women that respond to my “male ads” think it’s a cute joke, and the guys end up reporting the ads as fake or inappropriate, or wind up sending me pictures of their junk.

      Thank you, I’m glad they tickle your funny calcium-rich tissue.

      Like

    • It is super cute, isn’t it? if I were to really undertake learning how to create articles of clothing for a two-inch tall man, the learning curve may be steep, if only because I’d want the clothes to look as natural as possible, and that would mean they would be extremely fragile.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hahah! Angry mouse. 🙂

      Right you are. In this day and age there is no need to go through such efforts to remain fully clothed. There is a vast community of crafters dedicated to making tiny clothes. And I’m not being facetious about that statement. One look at Etsy and a myriad of them can be found.

      I can almost imagine that angry mouse, and what it says…

      You: “Alright, mouse! Die now! I must kill you for your hide!”
      Mouse: “Are you insane? What nonsense is this? Gimme that spear!”
      (And it breaks it.)
      You: “What! Why did you do that? What am I going to use to drive through your heart, slice through your body, and lift into you so I might take refuge from this cold night in your steaming guts?”
      Mouse: “Someone’s watched TESB one too many times. Back off, or I’ll bite off your head. I’m trying to sleep here.”

      Like

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