Today I got this notification on WordPress:

Now, you read “today”, and you think I wrote this entry on August 13th, but I didn’t. I wrote it over a month from now, which is the real today, and not the “today” I claim? Is that clear? Oh, it doesn’t matter. What is of great importance is that I’ve been blogging for nine years, minus those four years I didn’t blog. What’s of vital note is that I love to write, even when I’m in the midst of great despair, or massive anger, or mind-obliterating drunkenness. I’ve been writing stories since childhood, and I’ll continue to write size stories for as long as they live in my head, and in my heart.

Some fun-filled blog facts:

• According to FlagCounter, my blog is nearing a half a million page views. I know other blogs have more impressive numbers in viewer and readership, but I’m writing about shrunken men. I never came into this with the intention of bursting through any glass ceilings. More like… plaster and cement ones. I’m both glad and bewildered anyone out there reads my thoughts and then comes back for more. There are [all the] spaces in my head where I still feel weird, and different.

• My older blog had stomped its way into the Internet, and it got a steady stream of accidental visitors as well as regular ones. When I deleted it, I lost all that traffic, including the headcount from SiteMeter, which stopped working. All I can say is that after existing for seven months, my current blog has reached close to 18,000 pageviews.

• I don’t know who my Anniversary visitor was when I hit the nine-year mark, but… I’ll just tell you who’s visiting my blog right now, and reveal what smutty bit they’re looking at. Oh, they didn’t stay. Hi, North Dakota! Whatcha looking at? I see you’ve visited my blog over a thousand times. I’m glad you’re enjoying it.

• The most popular image at this point is the one below. I’m surprised a web app-produced comic outnumbers my most popular collage, but why should I be? Most of us go to the movies, and I know most of us have movie-theater related fantasies. Oh, don’t look at me like that. I know you do. No. Stop lying. You do. Yes, you do.

• The most popular external link is a story, Making Adjustments, by Little Comrade, followed closely by my own Twitter profile.

• The most viewed blog entry is https://undersquid.blog/2017/06/01/gentleapril17-the-results/. I’m glad because that contest was tremendous fun for me to run. The results will probably change with time, but if they don’t, you won’t hear me complain.

• The search engine term that sends me the most visitors is still “undersquid”, and various permutations of the word. There are other search terms I absolutely love, but I think the most disturbing one is…

Alright, that’s all she wrote.