Looking

I have looked for you forever

I can prove it

All my baby pictures show me looking down

I was looking for you

I have listened for you every day

Waiting to hear your voice

Rising from the ground, lighter than air

I am standing on the line

Between sanity and a dragnet of thoughts

My mind is on the line

I walk it and leave a trail of crumbs

Shapes of dignity show the way back

Home when I find you

I keep looking when I move

And when I stay it does not stop

Because a part of me believes

The best part of me knows

What the worst part contradicts

You exist and you are mine

I lost you once before I ever was

And I came back just for you

Learned to walk just for you

Listened to stories about you

Called out your true name

And I will find you again

Take you again the way I did

When we were one and never alone

You cannot hide from me

I will walk and look until I see you

Cast a spell of retribution

You will stop running then

And know my hand is coming

To take what belongs to me

I will close my eyes then

And stop looking

And smile and smile and smile

And feel your life pulsing

You mouth pleading

Your voice pretending

You did not know this was going to happen

But it does

Because you are mine

And you know

I have looked for you forever