A new banner?
No. Never. Yesterday I was taking pics of myself for future drawing reference, and decided on a couple I’m going to use soon. As I stared at them I wondered how it would feel to use one of them as a Twitter banner. The idea made me extremely uncomfortable, but I decided to try it anyway and see how long I could stand it. It went on for about three minutes before I took it down. My heart was pounding and my stomach started doing painful flips. Merely including the extremely blurred and indistinct screen cap above makes my heart race. That level of sharing is not for me. I don’t know how any of you out there do it! I’ve always preferred sharing such things with one person only. I don’t know if that makes me silly or strange, but it’s how I roll. In any case, there’s no shortage of size imagery out there, and no need to add that sort of drop to the ocean.
I’m moving it in different directions, trying to keep from writing the same thing again and again, knowing I can’t stay completely away from it because it’s too much a part of who I am. I’m now in the editing stages of my first paid commission ever. That was a new feeling. Years ago I thought I’d never write for anyone but myself, and recently I changed my mind. Why? Refusal to stagnate. Refusal to plow the same field. Making myself try something new. I ended up writing something I like a lot, and I had fun experiencing a completely different writing experience from what I’ve lived so far.
I’m not drawing these days. That’s probably the reason why I took those selfies, to see if they inspired anything. They did. I love them. As soon as I solve some difficult RL entanglements currently kicking my ass (send me your good thoughts, please), I’ll start drawing again. I miss it, and I like what I produce, despite what my one detractor claims:
Don’t look it up.
I love it.