Happy Thanksgiving Day

I wish you a very good day, whatever you celebrate. When I first heard about this holiday, I was a young girl still living in South America and I thought giving thanks only one day of the year sounded strange. I thought they could be thankful every day of the year. Me and my literal mind.

My first Thanksgiving experience after I moved to the US is a clear memory of bland or terrible food. In South America, children like me were raised knowing the incredible flavor of free range meat grown without hormones, so eating tasteless turkey meat didn’t seem like a good way to celebrate anything. I was also horrified by the presence of this on my plate:

But it didn’t compare to the shock and insult to my senses when I tasted this:

What I remember I felt when I tasted that abomination can’t be compared to PTSD. That would be extremely insulting to people that suffer from it for valid reasons… but it’s definitely a stressful memory. I wondered why anyone would offer me Satan’s piss to drink. And why was that lady touching my hair without permission, calling it “so dark and thick”? I was with family, old and new, so I had a good day… but I also decided that when the time came to fix Thanksgiving meals for my many children, I would make them unbelievably awesome.

When my (one and only) son came along, I made good on my decision. I became a masterful baker and dessert maker, and never ever offered him gross stuff to eat. Today was another holiday during which we ate mass quantities of delicious food. It feels I’ll never be hungry again, and the idea of eating another bite sends me into a nauseated rage… but I’m glad we have leftovers.

I was going to draw a Thanksgiving size image, but I’m exhausted. All I want to do is grab a drink and settle down to think how it would be if I could celebrate Thanksgiving days with a tiny man in my possession. He’d get up with me at the crack of dawn to help me start preparing the turkey breast; he’d push spice jars from one side of the counter to where I am; he’d make sure I stay hydrated and remind me to drink water throughout the day; if I get nervous, he’d calm me down in that way only he can, out of sight but never out of mind.

I’d write more, but my eyes are closing and I still have a shitton of things to do. Have a lovely day! I hope your family and friends are nice. I hope you have plenty of opportunities to think of your special size someone next to you / over you / under you as you become engorged with food. I know I did. Now, these are random things for which I’m grateful:

  1. Cranberry relish
  2. My imagination
  3. The company of my son and my cat
  4. Alcohol
  5. Digestion
  6. Friends
  7. Real root beer
  8. Sleep

That’s all, for now.

9 thoughts on “Happy Thanksgiving Day

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  1. Happy Thanksgiving, Squid. My wife also grew up outside the USA, and she still thinks root beer tastes like medicine. Ironically, our son drinks at least six cans of A&W daily. What do you consider “real root beer”?

    Good food is always more important than traditional food. We had a lot of both, including some excellent red wine. There may or may not have been tinies swimming in the gravy boat.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like the taste of medicine better than what I experienced that evening. Dr Pepper, which I also despise with all my heart, tastes like medicine.

      Real root beer is any root or vine concoction that has no HFCS, no artificial flavorings, and doesn’t make my tastebuds enter the WITSEC. Not Your Father’s is the only kind I’ve tried, and now they stopped distributing it around here, so I’ll have to look for a different brew.

      Thank you, and I hope your Thanksgiving day was excellent. It sounds like it was, what with the nice gravy and all.

      Liked by 1 person

            1. I’m certain that, if negotiations from a promontory ever become an event in your life, the sea will not fail to see your way.

              For my part, I’m happy there’s a fully functioning psychopathic portion of my brain that understands the gift of transformation, and the illusion of freedom.

              Liked by 1 person

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