You enjoy immense posteriors…

And you cannot utter that which is opposite to the truth.

If you like July’s contest theme to be butts, vote accordingly:

If you vote for something else…

I will find you.




This is driving me nuts. I’m working on a story right now, and there’s this tiny detail I need to get into in order to continue it, and I’m stuck because I can’t find the answer.

  1. An airman executes a HALO jump, and lands.
  2. As you know, superheavy rucksack with all his gear.
  3. AND his weapons. They are packed in his rucksack

My question is… HOW ARE THEY PACKED? Specifically his pistol, and his rifle. I don’t care about mines or grenades at this point. He’ll never get to use those. So he lands, and goes for his rifle. What does that look like? I could just write “He lands and goes for his rifle”, but that makes me feel ridiculous. I’ve been looking it up on the internet trying to find the answer, and I’ve found none.

Please to help me. If you have the answer to this or can point me in the right direction so I can look it up myself, please do so.


[Edited October 20th] Thank you Aborigen, Giantess Lucy, and an unrepentant Leafs fan for your help, without it and you, my story would have felt clumsy, and I would have been uncomfortable writing that part.



Vote for October’s writing contest theme!

I’ll type awesome words about it later, but in the meantime…

Please send penis pics…


…Is not what I asked, when I started creating those Craigslist ads. The above is a composite image of five penis pics I received in an email as an answer to this fake ad.

C’mon. Craigslist is not where I go for that. And as Twitter said: Auto-pwn.png

(Although I do like them small, but I’m not going to talk to you about that. That’s the sort of private conversation that belongs somewhere else, such as a smut blog.)

Also, doesn’t the composite image look like the eyes and nose of an alien face?


What does your giantess wear?

I’m not going to bring up politics at this time. Not here. This is my refuge from those things, which I constantly face, day in and out. This election in particular has torn my family apart. Some members of my family… let’s just say their crazy slip is showing. But never mind them. What about me? What the hell is wrong with me, that I feel the way I feel sometimes?

I go to Walmart, and I see certain people, and I feel certain ways. I want to do certain things, shout choice words, behave in a particular manner. That’s new. I wasn’t that way before. Whatever. I’ll work through it the same way I work through whatever illness, hormonal change, physical mutation, etc., manifests itself uninvited.

I have no mental process for the above, though. Just imagination. What is that visitor thinking? If they arrive here by accident, because they were searching for various “ways to flog your pet”, then what’s there to think? I can see they leave right away. But if they visit different pages, and stay on a few long enough to reveal they are reading the material… then what? How does that person marry their thoughts with their reality?

If they are female, then they have much more to worry about than having a certain cousin reveal on Facebook that she went to that rally. Thank you for the kick in the brain, perspective.

Legends of Tomorrow – Season 1, Episode 13, "Leviathan"

This happens about twenty minutes into the episode. Don’t read on if you don’t want spoilers.

This is so hot. I’m not embedding it because that would mean signing up and uploading this bit somewhere far more visible than this blog. So I uploaded it to my google drive. I love this part. You know what I was uselessly hoping, right?

My favorite part

Lost at sea?

Screen Shot 2016-09-22 at 9.06.44 PM.png
A cool glitch?

I enjoy looking at my visitors’ data, namely countries and pages they visit. It still puzzles me to no end that one of the most visited pages has to do with my crushing a cricket. Sickos. 🙂

When I gawked at my most recent visitors’ world map, I saw the above image. It brought forth the image of someone struggling to stay afloat after having gone overboard,  yet considerate enough to Visit the Undersquid while waiting for a rescue party.

Don’t you worry, little guy! I’m coming.

R.I.P. Vanya

My Mac  that I had named Vanya (I name my Macs), is dead. No more posts until he’s replaced.

(I wish this was an April’s Fools’ joke, but it’s not.)

I had the Audacity to change my gender…

…and it only took a few seconds. I was at one of my favorite blogs looking at fun stuff to use later on for various purposes that don’t only involve collaging, when I spotted a video of Andrew Cooper. You probably don’t know who he is and that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that near the end of the video I found out that the fun tune that had been playing during it was sung by a woman (Kelly Clarkson), and not a man. The creator of the video had used Audacity to change the pitch of her voice, and make her sound like a man.

I’d heard of such things before, but in the opposite context of men making themselves sound like women. This was the first time I’d heard an example of the results (that I know of), and I was surprised at how convincing it sounded. I’d downloaded Audacity years ago, so obviously I had to try this! I sound awesome as a man. I’d totally call me on the phone all the time, just to hear my voice… unfortunately my tweaked voice sounds just like one of my younger brother’s, which is a tremendous turnoff. 😆

No wonder some of you ask themselves if the people you deal with are truly who they say they are. If I had “dealings” with anyone online and it turned out he was a she, I’d not be insanely happy about the deceit. That sort of thing will never happen to me though. I’m fairly sure most of you have penises. 🙂

I now introduce to you Andrew Cooper, insanely hot man that should be collaged more often (which is why he’s my next Shrunken Man of the Week):

Just the two of us!

And I would walk 2,642 miles, and I would walk 2,642 more

Is there any reason whatsoever I should be this happy someone from the city where I was born should make it to my blog? Maybe not, but it still makes my heart pound with glee that it happened.

See, what typically happens when I spot my birth flag in my site stats is that the visitor somehow ended up at my blog while apparently looking for something else, the evidence of that being that they never stay for longer than one “click” (as in, the first page they see is the page from which they flee).

But you can see that this person lingered for a while, and checked out several pages; s/he didn’t run, s/he didn’t cower in fear. I’m not the only one! Now I can honestly say there are at least two people from my country that have these fantasies. So, paisan@, I dedicate this song to you. 🙂